


Constellation series: Of Presidents, Pop Rocks and Movie Stars' Colons

by snailboat64



Series: Constellation Series [3]
Category: Human Target - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-03
Updated: 2011-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-21 01:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/219208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snailboat64/pseuds/snailboat64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ames needs to learn that not everything you read on the internet is true!</p><p>All the fics in the Constellation Series are adapted from a much longer fic (also posted on AO3) called Comfort. The main difference is that whilst Comfort is a slash fic, the stories in the Constellation Series are not. Mostly they are one-shots that can be read alone, but I will also be adapting the longer case-fics that make up quite a large chunk of Comfort.</p><p>I am (re)posting these fics for two main reasons: 1. Not everyone likes slash and 2. Comfort is quite a long fic, so not everyone has the time or inclination to wade through it all!</p><p>If you have already read Comfort you'll find a lot of the Constellation Series is basically the same, so feel free to skip it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Constellation series: Of Presidents, Pop Rocks and Movie Stars' Colons

 

Chance heard the sound of Guerrero and Ames bickering long before they walked into his line of sight. He stopped doing his Tai-Chi exercises and leaned his elbows on the railing, so he could observe the two of them arguing.

"I'm telling you it's true! There was a whole article about it online!" Ames said indignantly.

"Ames, Obama is not going to ban black cars in the state of California," Guerrero snorted.

"He is! You can kiss goodbye to the Eldo, unless you get a re-spray of course. All dark coloured vehicles are going to be banned!"

Guerrero stopped dead in the middle of the office, shaking his head at Ames' gullibility. Unfortunately Ames was too caught up in her animated explanation to notice that he had stopped, so she walked straight in to him.

"Ooof!"

"First up, watch where you're going," Guerrero said. "And second, you really can't believe everything you read online, Ames."

"I don't believe everything I read!" Ames protested, taking a couple of steps back. "I __so__ don't believe that it's 'cause the president thinks black cars are somehow racist. That's just dumb."

"Someone actually posted that?" Guerrero asked as the corners of his mouth twitched in to something that was almost an amused smile.

"Yeah, but I know that's bullshit," Ames waved her hands dismissively. "The real reason is to do with CO2 emissions. It's something to do with the fact that darker coloured cars use their AC more."

Guerrero chuckled to himself at Ames' earnest explanation.

"Hey, it's science Guerrero! You can't argue with science!" she said triumphantly.

Guerrero sighed, "Yes, darker vehicles in warmer climates have been proved to be less fuel efficient due to the fact that they retain more heat than lighter coloured vehicles. A study was commissioned to address the feasibility of using reflective materials in the manufacturing process of new vehicles to address this, and it was found that it was prohibitively expensive to do, particularly with darker coloured vehicles. The idea was shelved and it's never been much more than a theory. The president had nothing to do with it."

"Oh," Ames looked deflated at Guerrero's sudden onslaught of information.

"And whilst we're on the subject of dumb-ass things you've read on the internet: there is no ghost in the background in Three Men and Baby, it's a cardboard cut out of Ted Danson, and John Wayne's autopsy didn't reveal that he had 40lbs of undigested meat in his colon. They never even did an autopsy on John Wayne because he died of natural causes. He died of cancer - no autopsy required. And no-one has ever died due to ingesting Coca-Cola and Pop-Rocks!"

"So I suppose you've researched all those things, have you?" Ames pouted.

"It's common sense, Ames." Guerrero said. "There are plenty of real cover-ups and conspiracies out there, they just tend not to involve movie-stars' colons."

Chance laughed to himself as they disappeared into the kitchen, and turned his attention back to his Tai Chi. Ames still had a lot to learn when it came to online research. He hoped for Guerrero's sake that she was a fast learner.


End file.
